he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
