thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
