don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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