Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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