I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
