There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
