Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
