She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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