I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
