And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
