I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
