i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
