The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
