i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
