they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
