If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
