She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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