He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
