you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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