Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
