Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
