Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
