she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
