dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
