You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
