Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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