weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize