I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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