ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
