Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
