I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
