drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
