dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize