She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
As shirtless as possible
Mom said you looked used
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize