OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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