I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize