sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
