piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
