she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
