I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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