No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
