and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm at about main and main street
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
this hospital has no fireball
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
