i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
