Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
