We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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