my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
