i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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