i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
