bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
