i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
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