Why does Corona taste like a burp?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
