So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize