And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
