Ambien. No doubt about it.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
