just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
