that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
