Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
