i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize