yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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