I think I won the penis lottery.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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