were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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