billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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