i would punch a child for taco bell
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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